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Misako Aoki's Seven Rules to Live By

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Introduction

After reading Misako Aoki's 2023 book Steady on the Lolita Road, I wanted to watch this Seven Rules TV documentary appearance (Episode #23, aired October 3 2017) to watch since she mentions it in several chapters of the book.

Where to watch

I found a copy to watch on Misako's official Bilibili account (a Chinese video hosting site; link opens in new window). It is Japanese language audio with Mandarin subtitles.

The original video appears to have been on YouTube at one point and then removed. If you'd rather watch it without the extra text, and you're physically located in Japan and have a credit card with a Japanese billing address, you can rent it online here. (Japan, I was more than ready to give you my money but you make it incredibly difficult or impossible to legally access digital media from outside of your country.)

Misako's Seven Rules

Her personal seven rules are as follows (source). Note that these are personal rules for her own life, not necessarily for other lolitas to follow. Most but not all of these topics are touched upon in Misako's book. Before I found a copy of the show to watch, I was really curious about a couple of them, especially #2 and #5.

  1. Wear extra petticoats on big event days.
  2. Drape your lolita skirts over the top of a parasol to dry.
  3. Don't worry about whether you're attractive to men.
  4. Don't quit being a nurse.
  5. Never run wearing lolita fashion.
  6. Never turn down a lolita's invitation.
  7. Don't be discouraged by prejudice.

#1: Wear extra petticoats on big event days

Misako explains that wearing extra petticoats for big event days is for multiple reasons: (A) it spreads out the skirt, ensuring that all the pretty details and lace and ruffles are on full display for her and everyone else to notice and enjoy, and (B) it helps her get in the proper mindset and gets her more excited for the event.

#2: Drape your lolita skirts over the top of a parasol to dry

With limited space to clean laundry, especially while traveling, it's important for Misako to use every little bit of space to its maximum potential. It also dries the skirt faster than laying it flat because it spreads apart the front and back.

#3: Don't worry about whether you're attractive to men

She is wearing the fashion for herself because it gives her confidence. It is not a fashion that tends to attract men (quite the opposite, in her experience) and it is more important to her than finding a partner.

#4: Don't quit being a nurse

Misako first thought about being a nurse after seeing the TV drama E.R. and thinking the nurses had a cool job. She also enjoys caring for people and thought it would be fulfilling work for her personally. When balancing modeling and nursing became very difficult she thought about quitting nursing, but ultimately decided it was a very important part of her mental well-being that helps ground her in reality, and she would be unhappy, like something was missing in her life, if she were to stop.

#5: Never run wearing lolita fashion

Misako does not hurry anywhere in lolita fashion because she spent multiple hours getting ready and wants to look as nice as possible for as long as possible. She also wants to project a relaxed and classy attitude to match her look.

#6: Never turn down a lolita's invitation

Misako makes a point of accepting as many invitations as she can to attend fashion events, no matter the size or location, as long as it fits into her schedule. She believes this is a reason she is as popular as she is around the world. It also furthers her goal to spread joy in the fashion to as many people as she can, wherever she can.

#7: Don't be discouraged by prejudice

The fashion changed her life for the better. Because it is so important to her personally, Misako has decided to keep wearing it no matter what other people might say or think about her because of it.

Impressions

The show hosts/commentators are so annoying, lol. Many talk shows in Japan are like this so I can't say I'm surprised. The older woman especially acts exactly like the type of person that would talk trash under their breath if they saw you on the street wearing something unusual. When asked if she ever wears jeans and a T-shirt, Misako says no, she can't bear to wear that kind of thing anymore because she's gotten used to and prefers the lolita silhouette that doesn't fit close to the body...and the older woman commentator says "she's that determined to hide her figure, huh". Ugh. I want to ask her why it bothers her so much that someone happens to have a non-conventional preference for how they want to look. She says other mildly condescending things too. I could also tell during the part about Misako's nursing job that they would not have respected her as much if she just did fashion work and they didn't know she also had a "normal job."

The commentators are not entirely awful though. One of the men mentions that it seems like it takes a lot of time and effort to have learned all the skills needed for someone to look the way Misako does on a regular basis. That is something I've thought about for a long time as someone who didn't know how to put on makeup or wigs before I started wearing lolita fashion (and I'm still bad at styling my own hair). If you want to look fully put together for an event or photo shoot, there are lots of different skills involved, like hair styling (or wig styling and knowing how to put one on securely), applying makeup, and choosing items that match and layer in a pleasing way. People can and do make entire careers of any singular one of these skills, and Misako (and many other lolitas) often do many or all of these things themselves. That is one thing I think people who aren't interested in fashion do not understand or appreciate. If they think the clothes by themselves are expensive, imagine hiring a wardrobe stylist, a hairdresser, and makeup artist every time you wanted to wear them. Sure, they might think none of those are particularly valuable life skills. But these skills nonetheless take a lot of practice to learn to do well, and that time and effort spent learning to get better at a hobby or profession is something I think anyone could respect.

When they show Misako wearing her nurse uniform and riding a bike to work, and she says "I don't like wearing pants but they're easy to work in and also ride a bike in. I love wearing skirts but it's so hard to ride a bike in a skirt!" ...I felt that. I know some countries sell skirt guards to install on the bike so that long clothing doesn't get caught in the back wheel but I guess both Japan and the US have yet to catch onto those.

I loved seeing the footage from a tea party and fashion show she attended as a guest of honor in Beijing. In finding this video I noticed that Baby the Stars Shine Bright also has an official Bilibili account with their fashion shows uploaded to it and I really want to watch those sometime.

In her book (mentioned above), Misako dedicates an entire chapter to the difficulty she had in deciding whether to appear on this program. It required her to publicly reveal her age, which she was worried about for a number of reasons but ultimately decided to accept the offer. She says that being open about her age was a catalyst for her whole life changing for the better.

Overall this mainstream TV appearance illustrates quite well the points Misako makes in her book about the judgment the public tends to pass about people who love fashion and specifically lolita fashion. As Misako says in her book, she participated in this show precisely in hopes of changing public perception of lolita fashion for the better. If no one else, at least she seems to have gotten through to a couple of the commentators.